Growing

The first time you are confronted with malevolence, you don't understand why it is. What purpose does it serve!? Why is it directed towards you!?
It becomes confusing, because you don't understand why someone would choose to be that way...it's unnatural! You have to learn it until you forget, you are not really that.
At one point, this darkness met a need and it was continued.
For the innocent, who has not met his self and deals with this darkness everyday, the light in him may begin to dim and he may cross over to join his brother in darkness ;darkness now seems the norm.

Peace is, just remove the stuff you covered it with!

Rain

I love sitting on a porch on a summer's day and it begins to rain. It slowly gets dark; the wind begins to pick up and you can smell the coming rain...what is that smell that means rain, ozone ; atmospheric chemicals!? It smells fresh!
Then it comes, dancing on the roof of the porch, sliding down falling over the sides, streaming on to the earth making little pools.
It all seems like controlled chaos,crazy and beautiful at the same time!

Train

My mother took me and my sister on a train down South to visit grandmom. We were children at the time.
What stands out, is the memory of my mother feeling as if she didn't belong on the train. She sougth out the most uncomfortable and hidden place to sit, like she didn't want to be found out! I'm sure she paid her money like everyone else did. I felt as if she didn't want to disturb the white people...this was back in the sixties.
Instead of it being a pleasurable train ride it seemed akward.
A white man happened by and seeing my mother's predicament, ushered her to a better arrangement.
He understood how my mother was thinking and he would have none of it!
I marveled at how white people could just go anywhere, like they owned everything, without looking like they didn't belong!
... I'm sitting there feeling less than!
It's a feeling I fight even today.

A nest

I like to think of myself as a "watcher "... I observe stuff!
People will say one thing, and if you watch long enough, you can tell if it's a lie... not necessarily something told consciously.
Actions don't line up with the statement. Sometimes this is very subtle and not easy to see followed by a gut feeling of something wrong. With Me, I try and keep thinking out of it, and let the answer come on its own.

Side note : I love that some women change their hair style every day, even though I may not like that particular style for that day. I don't think women know how alluring they can sometimes be just by pinning up the hair in subtle ways. Some are so cute!

Ps... I know most hair is bought!

Stiff

Back in the days of when the British musical group "The Beatles "were the rage, a strange thing was happening to women that left a lasting impression in my mind.
Women would turn into something horrible if they thought their hair had a chance of getting wet!
I would be traumitize watching my mother turn... it wasn't natural! I had really believed if water touched their hair, they would become deformed or would die!
I carried this belief with we into adulthood where I one day remembered it again and I realized what held true then, had no power now! Why hadn't I seen the transformation through the years!?
Women don't seem to be as bothered by the rain as they did then.
I can now drop this belief, and hope in some way, it will make me a better person.

On a side note...has anyone noticed Christina Aguilera cleavage on "The Voice!" It looks like a man's chest...something going on there!

Guilty

Although I may have been found guilty by a high judge of this state, I cannot be so ordered as to report to the place of my incarceration so willing to surrender my God given freedom. This is vulgarity in its most high!
How can I give up what I do not own!
Neither do you sir!!
If my presence must be as so ordered, then the proper authorities should ever so firmly take me in hand and ascort me to the site of my unfreedom!
I protest sir, fore I'm as guilty as the wind could be!

Orange

I was in line at the 24hour Walgreens when I noticed the cashier nails were dayglow orange. What an unusual color for a black girl to choose!
I was mesmerized by how they looked on her... and you know, she pulled it off!
On some other girl, it would come off pitiful... something about her made it work!
I believe it had much to do with her character, even though she hadn't said much, her personality was bustling forth and somehow connected with her playful use of fingernail color.
You got to really know who you are to try something like that.
I love when people do crazy stuff and it works!!

Walking

What the hell is going on over at "The Walking Dead "!?
Frist Dale gets killed, then Shane!
With those main characters gone, it's all pointing to shit load of hurt coming down.
I'm thinking they all get killed, except for Glen and his new woman!

And we go on from there!

Ps.  I think something's mentally wrong with that black guy, they call the gentle giant on "American Idol! "... Just saying!

Witch

She seems to know of all things, because she answers all questions, yet her answers have no light. This is peculiar... how can all her knowledge be of darkness in order to be true!? Surely, their must be some knowledge of light!
She couldn't see that her answers were devoid of goodness, she couldn't see herself!
I thought she was a strong woman until the day when the clouds turned black and there was no cover from the rain and the strikes of lightening.
The witch was nowhere to be found, knowledge was not to be had, but answers were given from the ones who carry the light.
The lightening struck no more, and the rain weakened, the clouds lost the darkness, and for seven days and seven nights, the bosses were pleased!

Lunch

Since I grew up poor, I never had the opportunity to observe lunchroom etiquette.. You know,like what it means when you get strawberry jelly instead of grape on your peanut butter sandwich!
In Grade School, I vaguely remember, having snack time in the cafeteria where we would have those fresh baked cookies that would be the best with chocolate milk. Everyone who grew up in the Chicago school system back then knows about those cookies.
In High School , to this day, I have never set foot in that cafeteria. I never ate lunch at school.
I would go home for a Bolony Sandwich (sometimes fried), a bowl of Campbell's Tomato Soup with chips.
Best lunch ever!

As one

It is rare for me to find a conversation that is meaningful,by that I mean a talk where there are "ah ha"moments.
People tend to shied away from something that they perceive as real, because if it's real, then it is true and unchanging.
If the truth is brought out to be seen, then changes must accure, and people for the most part, don't want to change, they want to feel safe.
Safe is doing what has already been done!
What wrong with showing a little vulnerability!? We all have it, so thats all except it, and talk nicely!

Betty Crocker

I had overheard a conversation while waiting to cross the street and it involved a woman not knowing how to cook.
I nearly fell to the pavement!
And she said it like she was proud of it!
I Just don't understand, every woman should know how to cook,  Not for any man necessary, but for her own self!
That may be the reason why you out there crying you don't have a man!
Not being able to clean or do the laundry can be forgiven, but not being able to cook is an abomination!

Admiration

In growing, you sometimes come across people who you gain repect for and admire. Sometimes the wise ones see that from you, and take you on, in a special effort to show you that they are nothing but as human as you are.
When you see them as they really are, sometimes you loose the faith that you once had in them and realize were all just human and none of us are super heroes and maybe we should put our faith somewhere else.

Breast

Alright, thats have a real conversation, and by that, I mean a conversation about breast!
By now, I'm sure many women know the power of showing off some cleavage. They know it works and I am certain they have no idea why.
Hell, I don't know why!
All I know is, what ever the situation, it has become more manageable with the flash of some boobs.
If I'm talking with a woman with nice cleavage, my eyes tend to drift towards the beautiful mounds, seemingly without commands. For me, there's a sense of comfort there, like coming home from an extended travel to find peace and harmony.
Plus there's the added fun of motorboating!

Thief

I saw this documentary I believe was titled "Street Thief " where a film crew follows a burglar around as he cases a target and committes burglary.
I believe what I saw in the film was true, but I don't know how a film crew could not be held, in some degree, responsible for the crimes committed by the burglar. Perhaps, there's some loophole I was not privy to.
Anyway, the burglar, I'll call him Carl, goes around seeing what he can see, looking for potential targets.
At one point, he is asked if he is a professional.
He scoffs at the notion and replys with "I'm just a guy doing what I do"!
And he won't do it if he thinks the score is under seventy thou!
Carl had a certain charisma about him, and even though he was a criminal, I liked him. He certainly was no common street thief.
Carl wouldn't let the crew go with him all the time, especially this one score at a Gentleman's Club which he had to abort because he heard on his police scanner that the cops had been called.
I was surprised to see all the work he would put in to surveillance and disguises, one time posing as a city worker.
A big score he let the film crew in on, was the burglary of a suburban movie theater.
They hide in the theater and waited for the cleaning crew to leave, then Carl smashed through a wall to the manager's office past the alarm on the door, then smashed through another wall next to the safe and peeled the side of the safe back fishing out a little over seventy five thousand dollars. (all this was done with power tools and extension cords he hide in a bag he retrieved)
Months had passed and the film crew hadn't heard from Carl, so they decided to go by his base of operations.
Coincidentally, as they drove by, the place was full of cop cars and police.
They saw his BMW parked in the usual place with the driver side door open. Immediately, the producer thought that Carl had been arrested and decided to go back to his office and try to find out where he was being held.
To his surprise, the detective in charge of the case, didn't even know Carl's name and that he was investigating a possible murder at the location the producer was referring to . He further stated patrol cops saw the BMW in the lot with the door open and investigated, they found that the driver's seat was covered in blood. No body was found.
Now with the detective knowing who he should be looking for, the case should pick up speed, but it never did! They never found Carl's body.

Rumor has it, his disappearance had something to do with that blotched gentleman's club burglary. (it had mob ties).

That's the kind of stuff films are made of!