Ten akwarnesses

1. Returning home from work one night, I took a route that would take me through the main lobby, to my surprise, there standing on one of the chairs was a young woman, her skirt hiked up, vigorously lathering her legs with lotion. It should have felt sexy, but it made me feel akward!

2.  A woman stopped to ask for directions. I noticed she had a large zip lock sandwich bag she was using as a purse. Clearly you could see several tampons.
That made me feel akward!

3.  Me and my crew are in a meeting, discussing changes to our operating system, when a co worker's cell phone rings and rings and rings and rings. He fumbles with it, I figure to turn the ringer off, but to my surprise, he answers, and then has a conversation with the person on the other end.
That made me feel akward!

4.  I attended a friend of mine grandmother's funeral. There was a quiet moment where we were all reflecting on on her life, when a cell phone goes off. No one would take care of it, it seems for minutes. The interesting thing about it, was the ringtone was the theme of the looney tunes cartoon.
That made me feel akward!

5.  The last time I was at the movies, some guy was on his cell phone talking through the main feature and he didn't mind how we all could hear how boo boo was still in jail. That made me feel akward!

6.  I was alone in an elevator and needed to pass gas, so I did. Someone gets on. I feel akward!

7.  Sometimes you hold your urine for too long ;you must go somewhere now!  I did, in an unsecure place, constantly watching around me, I payed no attention to where the yellow stream was flowing,and it ended up on my pants, like I had did it on myself.
Try walking around with a giant pee stain, akward!

8.  I get a phone call at work. A co worker from a previous shift had to leave early, she wanted to know if I would take care of her lunch left behind in the refrigerator?
I sure will!
In the end, it turns out, I ate someone else's lunch.
I feel akward!

9.  Back when I was working midnights, a co worker offered me tons of peanut brittle which I ate. That morning, I decided to take a jog. During the jog, I had what I thought was the urge to pass gas. I let loose!
I shat myself! How akward it was walking home.

10.  A friend's car was being worked on, so I offered to drive him to another friends house.
While in the house, I noticed a flurry of activities around the bathroom, not wanting to be left out of anything, I stormed the bathroom ;to my surprise, they were shooting heroin!
AKWARD!!